The Spear's Rating:

Starring: This dreadful disaster stars Jordan Lee, Melissa Hill, Leanna Heart, Charlie, Stacy Valentine, Zasu Knight, Tony Tedeshi, Michael J. Cox, Alex Sanders, Marc Wallice, J. J. Michaels, Bruno al Dente and Eric Burbank. The performances in this clunker are for the most part average, lacking as much passion as the film lacks believabilty.

The average settings, all inside, average acting, in a film that needed acting, average camera and sound and a very poorly written script with direction to match are the hallmarks of FEMME COVERT.

This movie never really delivers. It's story concerns role reversal in which Tony wakes up to find his chessecake calender in his garage, replaced by a beefcake calender. He goes on about how he met his wife after highschool (Was that before or after Dr. Frankenstein installed those scarred up watermellons to her chest?)and now awakes to find himself in a reality where women are dominant. If this is the case then why doesn't the sex revolve around this, poor direction. Also if in male dominated porno world there are is at least one lesbian scene thrown in, thankfully the director didn't install a guy/guy scene in but if this is truly a female dominated role and gender reversed reality, then why is there a lesbian scene in this. Also in almost all the sex scenes the male becomes dominant, thereby destroying the whole idea of the film. Men are in charge of all of sex. Women aren't fucking men, just taking it, again poor direction. The idea and concept of the film was and could have been good but is poorly executed and therefore devoid of eroticism.

There really isn' much, that is why there isn't the standard scene by scene analysis of each performance, also the director puts the names of the cast on the credit but not the parts that the person is playing. If this film does have a high point it's Marc being sexually harassed by his supervisor and telling Tony about it.

The whole package, poorly executed, poorly acted, not natural and for the most part not alluring women, no cast listing making it obvious that the cast didn't want to be associated with this picture, make FEMME COVERT a film to be avoided. Remember if it wasn't worth a scene by scene breakdown, can it be worth your time?

It had to happen sooner or later, this film is a Almost better than nothing. Viewers that really want to indulge in a case of masochism will enjoy this dreadful movie, as per the rest of you out there, avoid this like THE PLAGUE!

Posted By The Spear, www.excaliburfilms.com | 10/12/06 1:58 PM