Critical Mess' Rating:

Starring: The movie itself is without any credits and the box I received was without cover. The boxcover-images in review page on the Excalibur website don't show the performer's names either. I believe to recovnize Herschel Savage, Brian Surewood and Steve Drake among the male performers. The femae performer in the second scene must be Houston But I couldn't place any of the other female performers, although most of them looked familiar to me.
All performers were lukewarm at most, professional but uninspired.

This one was shot on tape and transfered to DVD so picture quality is average. Sound is limited to some Ooohs and Asshs and just a few lines of text, no music. No story, no plot, just 5 induvidual scenes shot inside, in cheap sets. The camerawork is rather static but not missing the action and lighting is decent. It just doesn't get off the ground anywhere and makes the FF-button being the most used one of the remote.

Pretty low. The women in this movie are all looking decent to attractive (I have a crush for asians so the girl in the third scene with the incredible long hair and natural body really had my full attention) and noen of the men showed wood-problems. Still the poor production values and the lack of heat from the performers make this movie one to forget within a few nano-seconds.

The asian girl in the third scene but she is underused and the last scene with a decent looking bleach-blonde sucking off some lucky unknown soldier. A pitty we did no see much of her body.

A lot. The DVD starts with some heavy stroker's material but it is a collection of small editings from various productions advertising for phone-sex, the action covered with text. This trailer cannot be skipped, fast-forwarded and is therefore the first agony. The poor production values, lackluster performances and the absence of credits are the second agony. What really makes this DVD worth a real catbutt award is the fact that this is listed under the facial freaky sex index but shows only two insignificant drops of c*m on a girl's chin and only in the last scene the girls gets blasted inside of her mouth, spitting out the guppy-brigade and rubbing some juice into her cheeks. The boxcover-images from the review page (once again: I received a box without any cover at all!) show several pictures from the front and back but only one picture on the back is actually in the movie.

It sucks. This was my first encounter with Cream Productions and definitely the last. A waste of money and time, will customers ever be protected by law from these deceiting malpractices? The movie was far from oral/facial and the boxcover on internet showed only one out of about fifteen images that was actually in the movie.
This one is the ultimate deception and thus worth a catbutt award, a 1.

Posted By Critical Mess, www.excaliburfilms.com | 10/12/06 1:58 PM