Roger's Rating:

Time for another alt-porn flick. These things just seem to multiply and pop up everywhere. Sort of like cock roaches. This vision comes to us from Vonn Fink and features the Razor Dolls label. That actually makes me anxious to see the movie. People confuse my hated of alt-porn with a dislike for the alt/goth/punk chicks who often star in them. Nothing could be further from the truth. I like the girls and I even understand that a sub-culture like this is longing for its own porn. Something new, something edgy and something that isn't their dad's smut. What I can't figure out is why the alt-directors feel the need to drain anything remotely sexual from their smut. This particular movie is an endless stream of poorly lit sexual encounters in cramped spaces that look dirty enough to be shut down by the board of health. When I say poorly lit, I don't mean that the action looks intentionally dark with the good stuff obscured. There is some art in that. This movie just looks badly lit and orange. It just seems to defeat the purpose. Aren't the guys, and girls looking for hot sex staring girls like this looking to actually see what is going on? Or is the goal to create porn that looks cheap and poorly put together?

The piss-poor cast IDs start off immediately. If you are going to make a movie featuring girls who aren't your run of the mill porn babes, then why not actually take the two minutes required to ID them? On the other hand, these women might not want their names on a scene that is this bad. I realize that we're going for dark and edgy, but this just looks like someone wouldn't spring for the proper lights. It's a veggie scene some noticeable heat followed by a boy girl featuring a dude in a full body suit that leaves only his cock exposed. Anything remotely interesting about this scene is overshadowed by the incredibly cheap look of the project. This isn't artsy looking lighting, it's just bad. The girls are actually kind of hot and definitely have the right look for a project like this. At some point the rather annoying mustic stops and we are left with a two on two fuck that wouldn't be half bad if someone would just turn on a light. The girls end up sharing a cumshot in what looks like a fairly standard ending to a porn scene.

Things just transition right into another group scene with annoying background music, horrible lighting and one girl who may have more tattoos on her body than any girl I've ever seen in a porn flick. It's a bunch of girl sucking a dick. Nothing wrong with that, but once again it feels cheap and uneven.

From bad to worse we get a boy/girl scene that is so horribly edited that it looks like a trailer scene from a web site. The action bounces from one b/g scene to another and then back to the reverse blowbang which has now become a group fuck. There are flashes of sexual heat and bits of kink that include a snowballing scene after a hot brunette spits a load back into the guy's mouth.

That gives us a short break for more pimp speak and another round of headache educing round of choppy footage on a dingy poorly lit bed. This time two cute give us a show that includes some hot strap-on action. There are moments when this scene is very hot, but everyone looks orange and the editing makes it look like they were trying to cover up for all sorts of fuck ups. Back to the group of girls we go. Once again they attack one another with what appears to be solid energy.

This would certainly qualify as a fantasy scenario if you have ever thought about what a bunch of hot alt/goth girls might do when they are alone together. There is a final scene that starts out with Riley Mason teasing and playing, but then disappearing to let the other girl handle the boy/girl duties. This looks like everything else in the movie and sounds just as bad. This final boy/girl fuck isn't horrible for any reasons other than it is hard to see, poorly edited, not shot very well and just serves to remind us that a director can really kill a scene by trying too hard.

I'm really glad that this mess is over. The bad lighting and annoying editing just made me want to smash the TV. Some of the girls are pretty hot and even those that aren't have that cool alt-thing going for them. Some of the scene are just lifeless and others are so badly chopped up that they might as well be. The poor cast ID has become such a minor deal that I've almost forgotten about it. I don't know what Vonn Fink was going for, but unless it was a lifeless, dim, boring, poorly edited waste of hot Razor Girls, then he missed the mark badly.

Copyright © Roger T. Pipe

Posted By Roger, www.excaliburfilms.com | 10/5/06 1:58 PM