Roger's Rating:

It's time for the latest celebrity sex video to hit store shelves. It's not the Britney Spears thing we're all hoping will come out soon, but it's still interesting. Hyped as a candid night between the actor and a few of his closest working-girl friends, this release does feel a bit contrived. On the other hand, it isn't exactly out of the question to think that other actors may have some private tapes just like these. Then again, other actors don't have quite as colorful a past, a history with the most famous madam in LA history or a personal message for the LAPD. Don't expect to see a professional quality porn scene. Most of this is shot with stationary cameras from across a room or with a handheld camera while Tom is getting busy with the girls. Strap in every one, it's time to take another fly-by near past the latest celebrity sex train wreck.

The action starts out in Tom's hotel room with a stationary camera across the room. He' making out with a thin brunette while she rides the Sybian. There seems to be a lot of camera adjusting going on, but it could be Tom doing all of the movement. He seems quite fond of eating her asshole and makes good use of the Sybian. Things get really odd for a while as Tom starts clowning around for the camera. He has a message for the LAPD (That he repeats time and time again.) plays football and does some dildo juggling.

Every few minutes another hooker comes out in front of the camera and joins the fun. Tom seems to be a bit out of it and struggles to get hard even as one of the girls uses her mouth on his cock to make it grow. He talks about cumming in a girl's ass, but we really don't see a lot going on at this point. It's kind of a mess really.

Eventually he does get hard and we get some POV footage of him fucking one of the girls. That brief sexual interlude ends and Tom takes us on an adventure in US history. He's rambling a bit and then does his best to hold the camera while he fucks another girl in the bedroom. We get an odd mix of dark shots and night vision and for some reason the camera ends up next to the bed. The longest sexual segment follows with Tom fucking one of the girls with everything on night vision. The next morning Tom shows up with whipped cream and there is another choppy sex scene that gets pretty messy.

There is a bonus scene that starts with an interview and moves on to a stationary camera's view of another scene. We also get an audio interview with Sizemore who tells a story about his night with another celebrity porn star.

We don't watch these movies for great sex, so it doesn't matter so much that this thing doesn't exactly pack a lot of heat. Unlike the Pam and Paris movies we aren't tuning in to this one to see the actual celebrity. Tom isn't exactly a hot blonde. He doesn't even have hot blondes with him to fuck like Vince Neil did. What he does have is a rather creepy screen presence that has always served him well in mainstream rolls. It helps to make this just enough of a train wreck that you have to watch it. Even though the sex is only hot accidentally and looks completely like the home made effort it is, we should still line up to check it out. If nothing else, we can watch a guy have what appears to be a minor mental breakdown while enjoying four hookers at once. See guys, it really is good to be a movie star. Oh yeah, in case you missed it; Tom isn't exactly a fan of the LAPD or his ex. As a final note....doesn't he have the perfect name for porn?

Copyright © Roger T. Pipe

Posted By Roger, www.excaliburfilms.com | 10/5/06 1:58 PM