Imperial's Rating:

On Brad's advice I first rented "Butt Detective", a rather silly "comedy" about a private investigator (Mike Horner, in his typical "creepy geek" role complete with that inane grin so dear to Frans hired by some rich dude (John Dough) to find a particular girl he only met once in his life (the dude, not the creepy geek . Problem is, the only clue our PI has are three polaroids of the girl's butt. So he wanders around town, checking out butts until he finds the owner of the one on the polaroid. Duh. Great plot, I know.

So essentially we have a "hi, let's fuck" premise for some 6 or 7 sex scenes. Thankfully, three of them feature the glorious Ms. Ashton, twice doing anal. For, yes, the angelic-looking blonde is one nasty customer. The only other case I can think of, where looks, star status and raunchy repertoire are teamed to such an extent, is Angelica Bella. Even Ginger was not expected BY DEFAULT to start pumping all holes vigorously at the drop of a hat. One is however shocked when Juli does NOT do anal in a scene.

But it's not just the raunch; it's the performance that has led Juli to be banging at the door of the Imperial Top 10. Certainly not as vocal or foul-mouthed as Ashlyn (just as well, for only the masters can handle dirty-talk without sounding inane), nor as hyperkinetic as, say, Tammi Ann, Juli has an incredible sexual presence. She always looks as if she's into what she's doing (usually something shocking, her expressions are delightfully cute and full of variety, and she moves very well. As for noise, she gives us plenty but never of the lame "oh yes, oh yes" variety.

Oops, there I go drooling again. Reviews, right. In "Butt Detective", Juli is supposedly Horner's secretary who literary puts her ass on the line to help her boss in his quest. She's not much of an actress, though certainly not wooden, but she is very cute and bubbly and a major babe, so we'll forgive her. Thankfully, VCA is wise enough to avoid the cheesy drama route that Vivid has been lately following (Ninn excepted), with the salutary result of not exposing the thespian limitations of its stars.

In order for the fan to be immediately sated, Horner does Juli straight away in the flick's first scene. Good scene, with excellent doggie action while Mike pulls Juli's hair with his teeth. Missionary anal closes the sequence. Juli also does anal in a good threesome with TT Boy and Rebecca Bardoux (who, of course, does anal on her own behalf), but not in her last b-g scene, an orgy. This orgy is very notable for showing Jordan Lee doing DP and even some moments of that rarest of treats, a DAP. "Athletic" to say the least. The rest of the video's plethora of anal drills include Tammi Ann twice (what a shock, I know, Lamont's love Vanessa Chase, and (again no surprise) Arianna. There is a good locker-room 3 girl scene with Juli, Vanessa and Nicole Lace, with lots of oil (which I like) and toys (which I hate.

The Imperial Verdict: I'm in love. Oh, the movie...right. Well, it's good and plentiful raunch, but there are two grevious drawbacks that bring its rating crashing down. First of all, all but one of the anals are from the missionary position. This SUCKS. The whole point of the anal is to see the buns. Missionary is all very nice, but there is no point in putting the poor girl through the whole bloody ordeal when the result is not visible! The canonical anal order of merit is: girl face-down and completely flat on bed (i.e. not doggie); doggie (good, but not as great); spoons; RAC; missionary. I have spoken. In any case, any position (yes, even RC) gets boring if you see it all the time.

The second drawback is less subjective and infinitely more serious. VCA has still not ditched the pretentious air. Interleaved with the normal video shots (which are BTW crystal clear) are long moments of the same action, shot in a fuzzy, badly focused, MTV-type visual effect shot. It's terrible, migraine inducing and spoils the fun. Why is it there? This alone has chopped 0.50 off the rating, which as a result drops to:

Let this be a lesson to you all.

Copyright © Imperial Reviews

Posted By Imperial, www.excaliburfilms.com | 10/5/06 1:58 PM